


Opposite Ends

by hcb53139 (ravinghazelnut)



Series: Wrong Direction [2]
Category: Captain America, Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Not A Fix-It, Not Steve-Friendly, Post-Captain America: Civil War, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, many many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 09:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7042090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravinghazelnut/pseuds/hcb53139
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve hasn't felt this free in a long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Opposite Ends

**Author's Note:**

> The italicized words are Steve's inner monologue.
> 
> I'm not particularly happy with this one, but enjoy!

Steve hasn’t felt this free in a long time.

No more Accords limiting his abilities, no more Ross out for his blood, no more Tony breathing down his neck; just Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. 

They collapse into the soft snow as soon as they step foot outside the HYDRA base, doubling over with laughter and soaking in each other’s long-awaited presence. 

T’Challa appears moments later, dragging Zemo by his collar. 

“With all due respect, Your Highness,” Steve stands up abruptly, shielding Bucky from the king, “If you try to kill Bucky again, I’ll be forced to fight you.”

The man just looks at him with an impassive expression, “Captain Rogers, I have given up my pursuit of your good friend. This man here is the one responsible for my father’s death, and many others,” He gestures to Zemo. 

“Besides, you don’t seem to be in possession of your shield anymore.”

Right. _Tony_ has it. 

Steve has many regrets; disagreeing with the Accords isn’t one of them, but fighting Tony is. It was just baffling to Steve that a person could be such a technical genius but so dense at the same time; couldn’t he just stand in Steve’s shoes for just one second? To see that the Accords were doing the opposite of protecting the people? To see that _Steve was right_? 

The man always seemed to be choosing sides for the sole reason to spite Steve.

He sends Tony the letter, because he had trusted–trusts– that he will be called when he’s needed. 

When they find the others at the Raft, Steve is greeted by the bitter laugh of Clint, “Nice to know that you haven’t forgotten about us, Captain.”

“Of course not,” Steve manages to say, unaware of the archer’s mocking tone.

When they’re back on the jet that T’Challa had lent to him, Sam looks at him with assessing eyes and asks,

“How’s Stark? I know he went to Siberia to help you.”

“He….he,” Steve swallows, remembering the look on Tony’s face when he had brought the shield up above his head, sick and pale and with fear in his eyes. “He did. It didn’t go…as planned.”

“And that means?” Wanda prompts, lifting one eyebrow. 

“He attacked Bucky,” Steve wants to tell them about Howard and Maria’s death, he really does, “His left arm is gone.”

“Figures,” Clint snorts and leans back casually but there’s a strange sort of annoyance to his tone, “Damn futurist goes crazy when he can’t predict what’s happening next.”

“Not so much what’s going to happen as what has already happened.” Steve says quietly to himself. 

…

“And if you hadn’t overreacted, then none of this would’ve happened! Seriously, Stark, what’re you getting at, with the wheelchair?,” Clint is merciless as he sneers at Tony, whose face remains carefully blank. 

Steve wants to defend Tony, really, but he can admit to himself that although the man before him had always appeared on television in a wheelchair, to show up to an Avengers meeting after half a year like this? It was a bit over the top, even for him.

“Are you trying to get the people in this room to feel bad for you because boo-hoo-hoo, you didn’t get enough attention when you were little from your daddy, so now you come crying to–” Clint continues, until he’s interrupted by T’Challa’s angry voice. 

“Enough!” The king’s knuckles are white as they grip the handles of the wheelchair, and Clint immediately goes silent, because none of them have ever heard T’Challa raise his voice before. 

“Tell them.” T’Challa says again, this time to Tony. 

“But I don’t want to.” The billionaire replies in a small voice, and alarm bells start ringing in Steve’s head. Tony sounding hesitant? That was never good– did he come here to tell them that he had compromised their hiding spot? Was General Ross onto Bucky again?

Steve misses what T’Challa’s response is, but finally Tony looks at the room with the air of a man going to his own execution.

“I’m paralyzed.” 

No, no, no, that’s impossible, Steve thinks, that’s _impossible_. 

“Paralyzed?” He manages to rasp out through spinning vision and his voice sounds too far away to be coming from his own body. 

“Yeah, paralyzed, as in I can’t move my legs, hence the wheelchair.” Tony stares back, voice and expression unwavering and unforgiving. 

Steve can’t hear anything after that, as the little demons hiding in the back of his mind come out to play for the first time. 

_Did you hear that? He’s paralyzed._

_Yeah, and it’s your fault._

_You don’t deserve the title of Captain America._

_You crippled the man._

_Captain America doesn’t cripple people for no good reason._

_Captain America doesn’t lie to his friends._

_Steve Rogers does._

_Because Steve Rogers is worthless._

_Hot-headed._

_Stupid._

_Irrational._

_A liar_. 

“… you randomly attacked Barnes and used your repulsors on them, and how you blasted Barnes’ fucking left arm off.” Clint is speaking again as Steve focuses on the room again.

Steve wants to shout, he wants to grab Clint’s shoulders and shake and own up to his own fuck-ups, he wants to defend Tony, but he knows that if he did any of that, Tony would probably hate him more than he already did. 

“Ah, I see that he didn’t tell you the good part, then,” Tony says, smiling a bit, and nods his head at Steve, “Come on, Steve, tell them.”

Steve just stares at the unfamiliarly gaunt man on the wheelchair, who’s looking at him fiercely and challengingly. 

He doesn’t say anything because–well, he doesn’t want to, but he knows that Tony doesn’t want him to either. 

“I’ll tell them, then,” He says, and Steve is frozen, he can’t bring himself to say anything or stop Tony, and he realizes that it’s because his subconscious doesn’t want him to. He deserves this. 

“I didn’t attack Barnes without a precedent. There was a video,” Tony explains slowly, “Of Barnes killing my parents.”

Steve hangs his head low. It’s okay, he whispers to himself, You deserve this. 

“They both fought me, and Barnes started to take out the arc reactor,” Tony continues mercilessly, “Safety protocol automatically sent out a blast from the reactor, taking out his left arm. Just for the record, I didn’t actually want to blast the guy’s arm off, but if FRIDAY hadn’t done that I’d probably be much worse off than paralyzed right now,”

There’s a strangled sound from Bruce, and Steve turns to see the doctor’s skin a dull shade of green. The (almost-)Hulk’s angry eyes are focused on him and solely him, and it’s terrifying. 

“Then–well, I guess I deserved this part–Cap started beating me up,” Tony says, baring his teeth unkindly. “So it got to the point where he had to smash his shield into the reactor, which luckily is not the only thing keeping me alive,

“And then he walked away. You know, I probably would’ve died if Your Pantherness didn’t get there in time. Thanks, T, and thanks, Steve.” Tony shrugs, although Steve can feel the heat of Tony’s gaze. 

Bruce lets out a roar.

Steve scans the room for his shield but remembers that he left it in Siberia. 

“Woah, woah, there, calm down, jolly green.” And to everyone’s surprise, the figure shrinks a little until it resembled Bruce.

Steve flinches as Bruce’s eyes look no less threatening than the green-tinted ones of the Hulk, and the rest of the room looks at him like they don’t know him at all. 

“So, I guess that’s my story, and I came here today to talk to you about the Accords–I know, _boring_ , and causes people to almost kill each other–I got General Ross to revoke them,” Tony says, and Steve realizes that Tony’s expression had never once changed throughout the entire encounter, “So now, Captain, you and your team of lovable misfits can keep doing whatever the hell you think is good for the world,

“I’m gonna take off now, T,” He says, addressing T’Challa, “Ciao.” He gives a mock salute, and he’s gone. 

_“No!”_ Steve wants to shout, _“You can’t just leave like this!”_ But he remains frozen in place, fists clenched and lip slightly trembling, head hung low and face burning with shame. 

“I once thought of you as an honorable man, Captain Rogers.” T’Challa says to him quietly.

 _Yeah_ , Steve thinks to himself, _I did too._

…

Tony gives him the shield back. 

It’s not as satisfying as it should be.

…

Steve watches Clint sink arrow after arrow into the makeshift range next to the place that T’Challa had provided them with silently, and the _thump_ that the arrows make after hitting the target is weirdly therapeutic. 

He’d fled the room before his team could ask any questions, he just needed to be alone, but it’s been a few hours now and he needs to have a conversation with everyone on the team. 

Steve doesn’t know how to start; it’s immensely awkward and Clint seems to be completely ignoring his presence although he’s definitely noticed that Steve was there.

“I missed my son’s birthday,” Clint said, suddenly, making Steve jump a little. 

“Oh,” He says lamely, and reprimands himself in his head.

_‘Oh?’ That’s all you can say?_

The demons in his head don’t want to go back inside, even though it’s dark outside. 

“Because I believed,” Clint continues, still not facing him, “Believed in _you_. Because you’re Captain America, you stand for what is right, and when Captain America asks for your help, you don’t say no. I regret that,” He says bluntly.

_You hear that? He regrets it._

_You don’t stand for what is right, Steve Rogers, after all, you crippled a man._

_Not just any man, but Tony Stark._

“Somewhere along the way, it stopped being about doing what’s right for the world, it was just about _you_ and your ego. I didn’t agree with the Accords either, even though I was already retired, I came out of it for _you_. Because you, Captain America, Steve Rogers, always knows what to do that’s best for everyone. But you didn’t, not this time, all that you cared about was that you were right,” Clint continues fiercely.

“It wasn’t–” Steve starts to say but pauses to clear his throat, “It wasn’t about me being right. It was about what was right for everyone–”

“Oh, really?” Clint challenges, “Because your actions had nothing but the worst type of consequences for everybody involved. Stark, well, he’s fucking paralyzed, Rhodey too though he still has a chance at recovery, and damn it all, you took _that_ choice away from Stark as well? What you did forced Wanda to betray the one person she had really formed a connection with since Ultron, forced me to leave my cozy family and end up in _jail_ , forced Scott to leave behind his fiancé and daughter, forced Sam to drop everything he knew. And as for you, Steve, take a look at yourself now, do you have anything? You’ve lost your title, your family, and our trust and respect. Tell me, was it worth it?”

Each word hits him like a physical blow, and it hurts more that Clint still can’t bear to look him in the eye or even turn in his direction.

_He’s right, you know._

“I _want_ to apologize to Stark, I really do, because I said some pretty shitty things to him just back there, and I will sometime, and Captain, I am not blaming you for me being a bag of dicks, but you had no right to keep something that important to any one of us!” Clint continues, and his tone of voice remains carefully icy, and it hurts worse than being screamed at in the face. “You were no longer concerned about the well-being of your family, your friends, even the entire world, and at one point, it wasn’t even about saving Bucky anymore. It was about the idea that _you_ knew best, that you could fix the entire goddamn world!

“We all lost something important in this war, and Tony may not be able to walk again, but the real loser here is you,” Clint finally looks him in the eye and there’s nothing but a deep, dark pool of swimming disappointment. “Nothing will ever be the same again.”

_He’s disappointed in you, Steve Rogers._

_He should be._

…

Scott gives him a disbelieving look, and goes back to his room.

…

Red streams flow around Wanda when Steve approaches her, and he holds out his shield in front of him immediately, just in case.

She’s managed to calm down but still stares into Steve’s soul, and he remembers that she probably can see inside his brain. 

“See, Captain, this is the problem,” Wanda gestures to the way that Steve still holds the shield out, ready to use it as a weapon at any time, “You expect us to trust you, but you don’t trust us back.”

_What a hypocrite._

…

Facing Sam is so horribly hard for Steve. 

His friend who had followed him without question into this whole mess was now looking at him with disappointment, and unfamiliarity. 

“I just–” Sam stutters, looking away from Steve’s eyes, “It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”

“Sorry.” God. What else can he say?

“How long had you known?” Sam says, head snapping up, “How long had you kept the truth from Stark?”

“Back in D.C…when we first met.”

“But–that was three years ago! You didn’t tell the guy about how your best friend killed his parents for three years?”

“I’m sorry.”

_No, you’re not._

Oh, God, what had he done?

_You were being selfish._

_You still are._


End file.
